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White Stuff Outside My Door

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By Bob Holt

Back in December I recommended that we poo-pooh or blow off the next forecast of three to six inches of snow because we'd just seen about two feet of snow in the area. How could we possibly get more?

Oops.

Once again we are looking at around two feet of snow. And there is supposed to be more on the way. I'm sorry, but this is just wrong. It used to take five years to get two feet of snow around here, and wasn't the temperature in the 60's in December? Who knew those were the good old days?

I was prepared for this weekend because of the big storm in December. Residential neighborhood looters and vandals did not storm and pillage the Acmes or Shop-Rites to their bare bones this time. No, this time they raided Sam's Club. Everyone knows it requires bulk quantities of Cool Ranch Doritos to survive a snowstorm on Super Bowl weekend.

Snow Pix.jpgAnyway, when you're stuck indoors whiling away your time until July or whenever the snow stops, you can always be entertained by television. This week, I watched Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter travel to television stations to tell people that it was snowing and they should stay indoors. Unless I'm mistaken, Mayor Nutter would have needed to venture outside to visit these studios to tell us to stay inside.

Meanwhile, local television anchors and studio employees clearly were not listening to the mayor as they insisted on going outside to report that it was snowing.  This is something they could have ascertained by looking out the window. So, why do they insist on standing in the middle of a street blocking the salting trucks? Please, this time, listen to the mayor and stay indoors.

Mayor Nutter should have just phoned the local stations. I would have taken his word for it. I'd heard the rumors that it was snowing. I would have looked outside myself, but snow was piled up against my door, making it impossible to check.

In defense of the local television weather forecasters, I miss the days when they used to screw up a lot of forecasts. They called this one accurately, but no one would have minded if the storm had passed by the area. Everyone would pretend to be angry and complain, because that's what we do. But we have a very forgiving nature. Honest.

I also miss discussing the heat index. Why don't we talk about that anymore?

Anyway, best of luck to everyone in digging out after these snow episodes finally end. Don't overdo it. Please remember to have your groundhog spayed and neutered. You know, Russia really does look a little better every day from my front porch.

And I'm sorry. I'll never disregard another snow forecast again.

Please wake me when it's summer. And tell me the heat index.  

Bob Holt copes with the snow outside his door in Winonah, New Jersey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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