By Latrice Y. Milbourne
We actually started out in the same state. Twenty years old, both finishing up college, we were head-over-heels for each other. When he graduated and moved back to "The Big Apple," that is when the distance began. I stayed in Philly and finished up college. I can remember writing papers and text messaging paragraphs just as long as my assignments. We spoke every day, never missing a beat. Oh! Did I love him. I graduated and moved in with him over the summer, in hopes of finding work. He was a school teacher so we spent our summer strolling through the parks in Brooklyn, hopping on the 3 to 34th street, and just walking together. We were in utopia. We never really fought or argued. As summer ended he prepared for work and I prepared to head back to Philly. I decided to go back to school to be a nurse, so that meant I would be in Philly for another two-years.
We never went a day without speaking to one another and the weekends always belonged to him.
We used to place bets on other couples, "Ah, they won't last for three weeks," I would say. It amazed me how a couple could reside in the same city and find everything to argue about. They really take what they have for granted. I wish I could be in the same city with the man I love.
We have both fallen in love with the distance. Even though people usually dread being in long-distance relationships, over the years I have grown to appreciate this time in our relationship. We are able to grow in our own space, yet still speak everyday and visit every weekend. We preserve the essence of our relationship and are not ignorant to the fact that living together will be another task to accomplish. We have endured the distance for four years now. We are stronger than ever and amazingly enough trust is not a concern of ours. Even after four years I still get butterflies when I see him and my goofy smile never leaves my face; and it always seems like the first time.
Most people in long-distance relationships are insecure and fear the distance. They worry about infidelity and losing the interest of the one they love. The distance can be a scary situation and we have had our moments when we have doubted our being because of the distance. It would be the people in our ears, saying "It won't last." We battled back and forth about whether or not it would.
After swatting away the flies in our ears, we have come to realize that our love for one another is genuine. Love lasts. Love lasts through the distance, and in our case, our love grew through the distance. When you find true love you hold on to it and never let it go no matter how far you are from him/her. If you really love him/her, and can not live your life with out him/her you make it work. I have reached a point where I view the distance as just a chapter in our love story. It is what makes up special. The distance actually brings us closer.
Being so young and so green, I am grateful for the distance. I am grateful because there is no telling if we would even be together had we been in the same city. I feel that the distance has a way of slowing a relationship. If we lived in the same city I do believe we would probably be engaged by now, or not together at all. We are still learning ourselves, and have finally transitioned into young adulthood.
I am in love with the distance. The two hour drive, the tolls, the $50 dollars to fill up the gas tank, or the $20 round trip ticket on the China bus. I am in love with the phone calls every few hours, the random text messages that say "I'm thinking of you," the phone conversations that carry over to the next morning, the packages in the mail, and the love notes on face book. I love the distance, and after four years it feels like the first six months. The distance gives our story flavor, piazza, and romance. You see, even though I do not see him every day, I speak to him every day and genuinely care about how his day went when we talk. There are couples living together that do not speak every day, unless they have to. There are couples living in the same city that see each other just as much as I see my love. I have found true love and I sincerely believe that the distance is persevering our being. So before you reject a long distance relationship, think of my story; it ends with a happily ever after, and I have the distance to thank for that.