If I had one wish, it would be that Arlene Ackerman hook up with
I don't know Street's current marital status. I know at one time he had a long-term relationship with a woman who lived in
But, I disgress. Ackerman is a single woman of a certain age. I think she and Milton would hit it off because, as they say, opposites attract.
Since Arlene is a millionaire, thanks to the
Street and Ackerman are alike in that they are that rarest of human species. They lack the capacity to blush. They are shameless, unrepentant and, therefore, made for each other.
Ackerman would help
Would he huff and puff and get all hissy like Ackerman did? Of course not.
Or: "I need the money because I am not only unemployed, I am unemployable!."
If we asked him, what did you do with the million, he wouldn't say: "Shut up, I deserved that money!"
He'd say something like: "I always said it was all about the children. And I've got a couple of them myself, so I need that money."
Or, "I'm holding it in escrow in case I need it for bail."
If the media requested an interview, he wouldn't fire back an email saying, as Ackerman did, (in so many words): Go stuff it, you lowlifes.
He would invite us all over for lunch at the Happy Rooster, regale us with stories about how he outmaneuvered the School Reform Commission and Mayor Nutter to get his severance package.
And say something like: "That Nutter. He's living proof than you can fool some of the people all of the time."
Or, regarding the SRC: "I think if you put a mirror under their nostrils it wouldn't steam up."
Or, "I like Bob Archie and the rest of them. They are proof you can function even in a comatose state."
Then, he would saunter out -- and leave us with the check.
I confess, I would enjoy having lunch with
Arlene would open up by saying something like: "I hope you are paying for this because I surely am not."
Arlene would say: "I want the cheeseburger, but you should eat something vegan, darling. Your cholesterol is out of sight."
And he would chuckle and wink at her and she would titter, unaware of the fact that he was dead serious.
How long would it last?
But, those would be glorious weeks for all of us in the media. We miss
And, even if you break up, at least Arlene can say: "Yes, Yes. He was my boyfriend! Just like Frau Blucher did.
-- Tom Ferrick
-- Tom Ferrick