Philadelphia Metropolis


Men Seldom Make Passes...

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By Kiersten Ball

 Six year old glasses.jpg

I had glasses by the time I was three. Thanks for that genetics. So my 25-year-old self looks back at my six-year-old bottle glasses wearing self and wonders how I managed to attract all the little boys in kindergarten, but now can't find a guy to save my life. Okay, I'll admit, even with the humongous glasses, I was still a pretty cute six year old. I had my first roller skating party that year, and I ended up skating with four boys at once. I'm serious; they were fighting over who was skating closest to me. I'm not sure how no one ended up falling down and busting up a knee.


By 5th grade I still had the glasses and I was starting to get that gangly, awkward pre-teen look. I still managed to have three boyfriends that year. Once I hit 6th grade I figured it was time to be more serious, so I had the same boyfriend for a little over six months. As summer neared we called it quits, and there were plenty of guys waiting in the sidelines to take me out.


Junior high came next, so I got contacts, lost the Loony Tunes sweatshirt, and started dressing like a typical teen. I wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, but I would call myself fairly good looking. My dating life seemed to slow down though. I dated the same boy on and off for the next six years. I had maybe two other boyfriends during some of our off phases until the end of high school. From there, I figured I would definitely meet someone in college.


All I have to show for my college years was about 30 first dates and one hook up that went nowhere. Two years of graduate school later and again nothing more than a few dates. How is it that I went from multiple boys fighting over me to absolutely nothing? It cracks me up because here I sit, a fairly attractive, successful, independent woman, and my last relationship was over five years ago. Maybe we should have adult skating parties.


Obviously at 25 I'm not looking for the same things I was as a six year old. Back then, while I enjoyed the attention, I was more interested in talking about dinosaurs and playing tag than holding hands with a cute boy. Now I'm just looking for that one guy to share the rest of my life with. A guy that will be able to see that glasses wearing six year old in me and smile.


To be honest, I look back and I'm proud of who I was then, and who I have become today. While this essay may on the surface look like a typical girl wants to find a guy story, that's not my true intention. The guys have come and gone, but I continue to grow stronger, wiser, and happier. I never became that girl that needed a boyfriend to feel good about myself. I just always had self-worth, even back then. Way to go six year old me.


These days it's a lot harder to meet men. When you are in school, there are tons of opportunities to meet people, but out in the working world there are few. Sure you can try to meet people at work, but that can end up being pretty complicated. Plus I've found that in hospitals most of the men are already married or gay. Although that could just be the hospitals that I work in now. In the last few years I've mostly done online dating since I'm not really into the bar scene. I've met some nice guys but there just hasn't been that spark with any of them. After a few dates I just tell them I think we'd be better off as friends. They typically don't want to actually be friends after that.


I've even allowed myself to be set-up by friends, colleagues, and worst of all, family. I find that even more awkward than online dating. At least with online dating, both parties involved want to be dating. My family tries to set me up with anyone they meet off the street. Often they find some poor unsuspecting soul who has no interest in going on a date with someone they have never met. I'm hoping in another year or so my family will grow tired of trying.


For now I'm just focusing on my job. You know what they say about meeting someone when you least expect it. Or maybe I'll just have to try switching back to glasses.


Cover photo: Google file art


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